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Che Guevara The President of the United Republic announced last night that his army is ready to march to Central America and is prepared to capture the terrorist Ché Guevara at all costs. The harsh words of the President come as no surprise, as rogue militias led by Guevara have been orchestrating guerilla attacks on trade convoys around the Panama Canal for months. Our source in the Office of Strategic Services in Washington DC confirms that a significant part of the Republican army is assembled at the army base Fort Sam Houston in San Antonio Texas, close to the Mexican border. The Latin Junta High Command is shocked by the bold words from the Republic. “Like our northern neighbors we want to eliminate the threat Guevara poses to the region. After years of non-stop fighting, we finally managed to broker a cease-fire; imagine our surprise when the Republic did not try to collaborate with us on this particular mission.” Professor Richard Caplan, who holds the chair for political science at Oxford, thinks this statement is merely a diplomatic ploy: “The Latin Junta is known for its ruthlessness, yet they reach out as the Republic is about to invade. I can think of only two reasons why they would make this move. One being that they are unable to capture Ché Guevara themselves, the other being that they are afraid a war on Junta soil only makes Guevara more popular with the general populace.” From a political point of view the best strategy for the Junta would be to ignore Guevara completely, as it seems any attention given will only increases his hero status. The True Revolution Whether Guevara will die a martyr's death, or disappear in the fog of history remains to be seen. Fact is that both the Junta and the Republic have suffered greatly from the attacks organized by Guevara in the past months. Guevara, who believes in a second revolution for the people of South America, has been targeting trade convoys of both sides on the Panama Canal. Initially the Republic directed their anger at the Latin Junta, as they had promised the world a neutral trade route through the channel. However, it seems the Junta is divided. So far the High Command remains in power, yet support for Guevara’s true revolution, modeled after the Soviet October Revolution of 1892, is rising especially in the poor regions of South America. Many believe Guevara represents the communist revolution as it should be, while the Junta High Command chose power and wealth over true equality and opportunities for all the people of South America. The Republic’s strong reaction to the rise of Guevara, only increased his popularity. This brought the Junta High Command in a difficult position as Junta trade convoys are as much a target of Guevara’s attacks as any other. Inspiration For better or for worse, Guevara seems to grow as a symbol within both the Junta and the Republic. The Republican High Command uses the press to demonize Guevara and in the same breath convinces many boys and girls to join the army. The past months have seen a dramatic increase in new recruits. Compared to the same period last year, the growth has increased by over 200%, leading up to 200,000 new recruits in August alone. The High Command of the Junta has not been able to use Guevara’s popularity to their advantage as of yet. It seems any move either for or against him, can only have a negative influence on the popularity of the High Command among the people. According to polls by Frits Wester, a Dutch political commentator, Guevara would win elections with 54% of the votes if the Latin Junta had a democratic system. Perhaps they will be able to seize this Republican invasion as a chance to turn public opinion around. Douglas McArthur An anonymous source has tipped our staff that General Douglas MacArthur has struck a deal with the Latin Junta. We received this pressing information last night, when news of the impending Republican invasion of South America started to surface. A source close to the United Republic High Command contacted us on a matter we were unaware of and could have a massive influence on the raging war. Our source, which we will refer to as ‘bottomless gorge’, has revealed that the Republic High Command struck a deal with the Junta military in order to free General MacArthur. During a secret mission named ‘Operation Crossbow’, MacArthur and his strike-force were ambushed and the General was captured. This resulted in a negotiation between the Junta and the Republic High Command. According to our source the Republic had to dig deep in order to free MacArthur. The Republic eventually traded blueprints of advanced rocket technology for the release of MacArthur. Our source tells us it is a high price the Republic paid for the release of MacArthur, but the General had some vital information on the whereabouts of Guevara. ‘Operation Crossbow’ was set in motion by continued Junta attacks on Republic armored transports in de vicinity of the Panama Canal, led by comandante Ché Guevara. The whole operation was led by General Douglas MacArthur, a war hardened veteran with wilderness combat experience. Documents provided by our source, reveal that a small division of the Republican Army arrived in Panama through ocean-transport. They rolled onto the beach after a brief coastal bombardment, using light vehicles, infantry, lightly armored helicopters and gun platforms. There was no intention to occupy the conquered land, the only goal for ‘Operation Crossbow’ was to search out Guevara and eliminate him. All the lands that were under Republic control were handed to a local Indian militia that would fall under direct control of the Republic. Our source tells us that the whole operation went according to plan and that the armed forces quickly moved into the jungle in search of Guevara. The soldiers weren’t quite prepared for a long stay in the jungle and had to deal with diseases that, according to our source, weakened the whole operation. It was said that during this time the Junta lured MacArthur into a trap, resulting in the capture of the general. Little was known about his whereabouts while he was captured. But the Republic High Command immediately contacted the Junta Military. Our source describes the whole process as a last resort method. It is said that during the time MacArthur was held captive in the jungles of Latin America he managed to discern the whereabouts of Guevara. Some high profile Junta militants spoke openly to MacArthur about this. In some letters sent to Republic High Command, it seemed like several high ranking Junta officials wanted Guevara gone for reasons unknown. The official statement of the Republic High Command denies all these allegations. Minister of foreign affairs, AragornwithAK47: “General MacArthur was never held captive by the Junta Militia. It is true that he lost his way in the dense jungle, fighting for his life against all kinds of monstrous carnivorous plants. General MacArthur went missing for a couple of days, but returned to our camp in good health. He never spoke or saw any Junta Militia during that time and the United Republic never had any negotiations with the Junta High Command.” Our source however, declines this statement and showed us transcripts of a classified meeting of the Republican High Command. These transcripts clearly state that MacArthur was indeed held captive and Republic negotiated a deal with the Junta. We were even provided with a recording of a phone call on which the voice of MacArthur is heard confirming to the Republic High Command that he was alive and captured. So what seemed as a heroic re-appearance of General MacArthur out of the depth of the jungle is actually a hard fought deal in order to obtain vital information on the whereabouts of Guevara; but, at what expense? What is the Junta planning with the blueprints they obtained? These are questions we are currently looking into.